Living Together While Separating – A Practical Guide for Couples

Living Together While Separating – A Practical Guide for Couples

If you are going through a divorce or separation, living separately can help couples start to move on with their lives. There is nothing like a toxic atmosphere in a household to make everyday living uncomfortable and it can also have a significant negative impact on your children, if not managed well.

But many couples cannot just find somewhere new to live. And this can cause them to separate, whilst living under the same roof. In addition to this, many solicitors will still give advice that you should remain in the former marital home, for fear you could reduce your rights to the property – irrespective of the Section 25 factors that determine financial and property division, or whether doing so could harm your own or your children’s mental health and wellbeing.

In this blog, we look at what happens when you separate but are still living together.

Can You Separate But Live Together?

Yes, you can. If the separation is mutual and agreed upon, living together until the house is sold or until alternative accommodation is secured is a viable option. This approach can sometimes provide stability, particularly for children, and can help keep communication lines open and costs down whilst you transition to your new lives.

Types of Separation

Trial Separation

A trial separation is a personal agreement between you and your partner or spouse to take a break without ending the relationship. This is not a legal step but rather a mutual decision to live separately within the same house. Establishing clear boundaries is important during this period. Rules about seeing other people, inviting friends over, and managing childcare should be tactfully and precisely agreed upon to avoid any misunderstandings or arguments.

Legal Separation

It is rare that a couple who are married can legally separate. There are usually religious reasons for doing so, or where you have been married for less than 12 months.

Separation with a View to Divorce

If divorce is the likely outcome, legal advice can be helpful, even if the split is amicable. The new “No Fault Divorce” law, effective from 6th April 2022, allows you to get divorced without needing grounds or waiting for 2 years since separating, making the process smoother. Previously you may have to prove separation if living under the same roof, by showing you purchased food separately, slept in different rooms and not socialised together.

What are my options if I want my ex to leave the property?

Occupation Orders

What is an Occupation Order?

An Occupation Order is a legal measure that determines who has the right to stay, return, or be excluded from a family home. This can be applied to both rented and owned properties and serves as a short-term solution in situations where living together is untenable.

Who Can Apply for an Occupation Order?

You can apply for an Occupation Order if you will need to show you or the children have been a victim of domestic abuse:

• Are married to or in a civil partnership with the owner of the home and currently reside there.
• Your former spouse or civil partner owns or rents the home, which was intended to be your shared residence.
• The person you live with owns or rents the home, and it was intended to be your shared residence.

Legal advice is recommended to help you through this process. You will not necessarily get an occupation order if you apply for one – it will come down to court to decide on the ‘balance of harm’. This pits the harm of no order being made, against the harm to ordering one party to leave.

Non-Molestation Orders

What is a Non-Molestation Order?

If an Occupation Order does not suffice to ensure your safety, a Non-Molestation Order can be sought. This order is designed to protect you and your children from domestic abuse by preventing the abuser from causing harm. Breaching a Non-Molestation Order is a serious offence that can result in imprisonment for up to five years.

Who Can Apply for a Non-Molestation Order?

You can apply for a Non-Molestation Order if you are experiencing domestic abuse from a spouse, partner, family member, or someone you live with. Consulting a solicitor who specialises in domestic abuse, or a domestic abuse charity, can help you understand the steps necessary to secure this protection.

Practical Tips for Living Together While Separating

1. Set Clear Boundaries: Clearly define personal spaces and daily routines to minimise conflicts.
2. Maintain Open Communication: Regularly discuss any issues that arise and work together to resolve them amicably.
3. Seek Mediation: If disputes over assets or childcare arise, consider family mediation to help reach fair agreements. There are currently £500 vouchers towards mediation for child arrangements if you are separating.
4. Legal Advice: Consult a solicitor for good legal advice to understand your rights and options, particularly if you’re considering an Occupation or Non-Molestation Order.

Summary 

Living together during a separation is challenging but can be managed with mutual respect and clear boundaries. By understanding your options and seeking the necessary legal advice, you can both get through this difficult period with minimal disruption to your lives and start to move on to a happier, less stressful life in future.