Shuttle Mediation
Shuttle mediation is family mediation where you and your ex-partner never meet. You stay in separate rooms, or on separate video calls, and the mediator moves between you carrying the questions, offers and replies. It is used where being in the same conversation would be unsafe, intimidating or simply too difficult, and it lets people reach agreements who could not otherwise mediate at all. Our mediators are members of the Family Mediation Council and are trained in domestic abuse screening.
- You do not have to see, hear or speak to your ex-partner
- Primarily online or can be in person, with separate arrival and departure times
- Works for child arrangements, finances and property
Most family mediation happens in a joint session, with both of you and the mediator in the same conversation. Shuttle mediation is the alternative. You are in separate rooms in the same building, or more usually, on separate video calls, and the mediator goes back and forth between you. You put your position to the mediator, they take it to the other person, and they bring back the response. Nothing is passed on that you have not agreed to pass on.
People choose shuttle mediation for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there has been domestic abuse and direct contact is not safe or appropriate. Sometimes one person feels they cannot speak freely, or would agree to something just to stop the conversation.
How a shuttle session works
- You and your ex-partner are in separate rooms, or on separate video calls, throughout
- Where sessions are in person, arrival and departure times are staggered so you do not meet
- The mediator carries proposals and responses between you, and checks what you want passed on
- You can take as long as you need to think before anything is relayed
- Everything you agree is written up in the same way as any other mediation
Why choose shuttle mediation?
No direct contact at any point
Still far quicker than court
The same hourly rate
You can speak freely
Trained in safeguarding
The same outcome
Get up to £500 towards your mediation
Is shuttle mediation safe if there has been domestic abuse?
Sometimes, and sometimes not. Shuttle mediation removes direct contact, which resolves a great deal, but it does not make every situation suitable for mediation. That decision is made carefully, individually, and can be made by you or your mediator at any point during the process.
Every MIAM includes a confidential domestic abuse screening. It is a private meeting, the other person is never told what you say in it, and your mediator will ask directly about safety, control and how decisions were made in the relationship. If mediation is not appropriate, your mediator will tell you so and will point you towards the right route instead, including the court application for protection.
Shuttle mediation may work where:
- You do not want direct contact but feel able to make decisions for yourself
- The difficulty is intimidation, conflict or distress rather than ongoing risk
- You want to keep control of the outcome rather than hand it to a judge
- Practical safeguards, such as separate calls and staggered times, are enough
Mediation may not be right where:
- There is a current risk of harm to you or a child
- There is ongoing coercive or controlling behaviour that would carry into the process
- You feel unable to disagree with the other person, even at a distance
- There are court orders or bail conditions restricting contact between you
- You are being pressured into mediating
How does the shuttle mediation process work?
Your MIAM
Arranging the format
Your shuttle sessions
Your written outcome
Making it legal.
Start with a private conversation
Book your MIAM online in a few minutes. You attend on your own, it is confidential, and nothing is arranged without your agreement.
What if I change my mind, or it is not working?
You can stop at any time. Mediation is voluntary from beginning to end, and nobody can make you continue. If shuttle mediation is not working, or you decide part way through that you do not want to carry on, you simply tell your mediator and it stops. You do not have to give a reason.
You can also move between formats. Some people start with shuttle and later feel comfortable with a joint session. Others start jointly and switch to shuttle. Some use shuttle for one difficult issue and meet jointly for the rest. Your mediator will suggest what seems workable, but the choice is always yours.
How much does shuttle mediation cost?
Free
Up to £500
£120+VAT
The average cost of shuttle mediation is £864 to cover 3 x 120-minute sessions and your MIAM.
Legal paperwork is at an additional fee.
Meet your family mediators
What families say about working with us
“Shuttle mediation with Mediate UK was a positive experience. Highly recommend”
“I only agreed to go as we could see the mediator on our own at first but I was suitably comforted and agreed to go to the sessions. I was pleased as I felt the mediator allowed me to speak and get my view point across, as my ex is very overbearing and intimidating. We now have an agreement in place and the main beneficiary of all of this is our son.”
“We received excellent service from Mediate UK. Our mediator was not only knowledgeable but courteous and patient with his clients especially in the challenging circumstances of mediation.”
FAQ
Shuttle mediation is family mediation where the two of you are kept apart throughout. You are in separate rooms, or on separate video calls, and the mediator moves between you carrying questions, proposals and responses. You never see, hear or speak to your ex-partner. It is used where a joint session would be unsafe, intimidating or too distressing, and it produces exactly the same written outcome as any other mediation.
Yes, in most cases you can, and it is worth asking if it would help you feel more comfortable. There are a few conditions. The person is there to support you, not to speak for you or negotiate on your behalf, so the conversation stays between you and the mediator. They cannot be a solicitor or lawyer, because legal advice sits outside mediation and is taken separately.
You will need to tell your mediator when you book the appointment rather than turning up with someone unexpectedly. And the other person will be told that you are bringing someone, because mediation is an open process and neither of you should be surprised by who is in the room. They are welcome to bring a supporter too on the same basis.
You can have someone in support at your MIAM and the mediator will check that you are happy for them to be there.
No. That is the point of it. Online, you are on separate calls and never in the same virtual room. In person, you are in separate rooms with staggered arrival and departure times, so you do not meet coming in or going out. Nothing is passed between you that you have not agreed to pass on, and you can take as long as you need before responding to anything.
Sometimes, but it depends entirely on the circumstances and it is assessed individually. Every MIAM includes a confidential domestic abuse screening, held privately with you alone, and nothing you say in it is repeated to the other person. Where the difficulty is intimidation or distress rather than ongoing risk, shuttle mediation often works well. Where there is current risk, ongoing coercive control, or you feel unable to make decisions freely, mediation may not be appropriate, and your mediator will say so and point you to the right route instead. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
No. Mediation is voluntary throughout, and you can stop at any point without giving a reason. Attending a MIAM is compulsory before most court applications, but there are exemptions where there has been domestic abuse, and even at a MIAM nobody will push you into mediating. If mediation is not suitable, your mediator issues a certificate so you can apply to court.
The hourly rate is exactly the same as joint mediation. What differs is the length of a session. A shuttle session usually runs to two hours rather than 90 minutes, because every question and answer has to be relayed twice. That means a shuttle case often costs somewhat more overall than a joint one, which is why we suggest a joint session first where it is safe and comfortable to do so. It remains far cheaper than court.
Ready to talk it through privately?
Your MIAM is a private, confidential conversation with a mediator, on your own. Nothing is arranged without your agreement, and if mediation is not right for you we will tell you and point you to what is.
Need something specific? Book an urgent MIAM, check your legal aid eligibility, or call us on 0330 999 0959.
Related types of mediation services
Child Inclusive Mediation
Child inclusive mediation gives your child a safe, confidential space to say how the arrangements actually feel to them. A specially trained mediator meets your child on their own, then feeds back what they want you both to know, with nothing shared without their permission. You make decisions based on what your child really thinks, not what you each assume.
Co-Mediation
Co-mediation puts two mediators in the room instead of one, which helps when a case is complex, emotionally charged, or covers both children and finances. You get two sets of skills, a better balance in the room and far less chance of getting stuck. In many cases there is no extra cost to you at all.
In Person Mediation
In person mediation brings you both together in the same room with your mediator, which many people find easier than talking through a screen. You sit down face to face, work through the issues in order, and leave with decisions written up the same day. It suits couples who can be in a room together and want it settled.